Monday, May 07, 2007

Stray Thoughts at a Late Hour,

[I LOVE THIS BLOG!] :) May 6th, 2007

I like to think that I would have answered Poncho Villa’s call and riden with him in the Mexican Revolution. Of course I can’t ride a horse and I’m opposed to guns, but perhaps he needed a person to roll his cigars for him or take notes during their meeetings.

I can do that.

There’s no good causes anymore, none worth dying for at least. Of course, I don’t know if Poncho Villa was worth dying for either.

To tell you the truth, I’m not sure I would have risked my life to avoid paying a tax on tea either. Contrary to popular perception not everybody in 17767 was jumping on the Red Coats’ bayonets.

Twenty percent of the population were Loyalist and a bunch were just waiting it out to side with the winner. After spending two years at college in Boston, I learned to be weary of the public proclamations of priveleged men gathered in pubs and boasting of revolution.

If the minutemen lost they’d be referred to as insurgents in the history books.

For a time Philadelphia couldn’t sell the Liberty Bell off for scrap metal.

The photo from Iwo Jima was just some grunts on a routine mission to right the flag, the hill had been long conquered.

Jessica Lynch herself admits to being no GI Jane.

History is full of beautiful lies and ugly truth.


2am in the morning stalking my thoughts through the high grass quietly as a leopard till I sense weakness then I lunge! ******************************

What can one man with one measly blog, sixteen fingers, a blowhole, and a dancing monkey do to find himself some truth in this world?

Hell, I’d settle for a small dose of enlightenment.

Fuck it! Just happiness. Just mind-crushingly dull, satiated happiness.

What is happiness?

It’s all about your perspective, your vantage point, how close you are to zero.

They say three is a magic number, but they’re wrong; it’s zero.

Everything starts at zero. You’re nothing and then you’re something and you don’t know any words and then you do, but you can’t read any words and then you can and so and so and hopefully, eventually, you’ll learn how to write and write well and possibly even one day know what a run-on sentence looks like.

Anyway, you get it.

Because of this everything is judged against zero, depending on the index, up is good and down is bad, or down is good and up is bad.

Your bank account: you hope the numbers go way higher than zero, your phone bill: as close as possible to zero.

But zero doesn’t always mean nothing. If you start with a million dollars in the bank that’s your zero. If by some financial misfortune, that sum is reduced to $800,000, oh boy, are you crying buckets!

It’s all about where you start.

What you start with.

But to answer my own question, what is hapiness?

A deep fried love twinkie, baby!


Thursday at the Republican debate, (yes, I’m that disturbed that I even watch the elephants go at it) a very revealing question was posed to the candidates by that babbling blond babboon Matthews.

By a show of hands he asked them who doesn’t believe in Evolution?

Fair question.

Three of these monkeys raised their hands. Is it any shocker that these three candidates are in the lower tier? Out of the running.

Out to left field, you could also say.

Huckabee explained the nuance of his position.

Huckabee, in a conference call with reporters, complained that the debate format didn’t give him a chance to elaborate on his views about evolution.”

And the main thing … I’m not sure what in the world that has to do with being president of the United States,” said the former Arkansas governor.

Huckabee said he has no problem with teaching evolution as a theory in the public schools and he doesn’t expect schools to teach creationism.

I like how Huckabee laughed off the question, as if it has nothing to do with being president. Your belief about how the world came to be and man’s place on the planet might infuence or affect your performance as leader of the most powerful tribe of humans on this planet. It affects the rest of us whether you place your trust in science and reason, or in “faith”. We like to know exactly what level of delusional primate we’re dealing with.

So, yeah, it matters.

But at least he’s sticking to it. Watch the other 7 candidates unfurl God at every campaign stop like a worn-out hankercheif but when they have to admit to what this naturally implies at the other end of the argument, that evolution is false, they all clam up like broken garage doors.

Our current president doesn’t believe we came from the sea, and come to think of it, one of his most famous and ditziest of supporters isn’t quite what sure chicken of the sea is.

Is this mere coincidence?

I think not. Everywhere are wires.


99.9% of all kings and queens, prince and princesses across the world, I am unable to recogize.

The Queen and Charles are about it.

And Fergie, if she still counts.


When you’re from California, where do you flee for some sun? ——– ARTOFSTARVING

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