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1. Groucho Marxism, the theory of comedic revolution, is much more than a
blueprint for crass struggle: like a red light in a window, it
illuminates humanity's inevitable destiny, the *declasse* society.
G-Marxism is the theory of *permanent revelry.* (Down boy! There, that's
a good dogma.)

2. The example of the Marx Brothers themselves shows the unity of Marxist
theory and practice (for instance, when Groucho insults somebody while
Harpo picks his pocket). Moreover, Marxism is dialectical (isn't Chico
the classic dialect comedian?). Comedians who fail to synthesize theory
and practice (not to mention those who fail to sin at all) are
un-Marxist. Subsequent comedians, failing to grasp that separation is
"the discrete charm of the bourgeoisie," have lapsed into mere pratfalls
on the one hand, and mere prattle on the other.

3. Because G-Marxism is practical, its achievements can never be reduced to
mere humor, entertainment, or "art." (The aesthetes, after all, are less
interested in the appreciation of art than in art that appreciates.)
After a genuine Marxist sees a Marx Brothers movie, he tells himself: "If
you thought that was funny, take a look at your life!"

4. Contemporary G-Marxists must resolutely denounce the imitative, vulgar
"Marxism" of the Three Stooges, Monty Python, and Bugs Bunny. Instead of
vulgar Marxism, we must return to authentic *Marxist vulgarity.*
Rectumfication is likewise in order for those deluded comrades who think
"the correct line" is what the cop makes them walk when he pulls them over.

5. Class-conscious Marxists (that is, Marxists who are conscious that they
have no class) must spurn the anemic, trendy, narcissistic "comedy" of
comedic revisionists like Woody Allen and Jules Feiffer. Already the
comedic revolution has superseded mere neurosis--it's ludic but not
ludicrous, discriminating but not discriminatory, militant but not
military, and adventurous but not adventurist. Marxists realize that
today you have to look into a funhouse mirror to see the way you really are.

6. Although not entirely lacking in glimmers of Marxist insight, socialist
(sur)realism must be distinguished from G-Marxism. It is true that
Salvador Dali once gave Harpo a harp made out of barbed wire; however,
there is no evidence that Harpo ever played it.

7. Above all, it is essential to renounce and revile all comedic
sectarianism such as that of the equine Trots. As is well-known, Groucho
repeatedly proposed sex but opposed sects. For Groucho, there was a
difference between being a Trot and being hot to trot. Further, the
Trot slogan "Wages for Horsework" smacks of reform, not revelry. Trot
efforts to claim _A Day at the Races_ and _Horsefeathers_ for their
tendency must be indignantly rejected; in truth, _National Velvet_ is
more their speed.

8. The burning issue confronting G-Marxists today is *the party question,*
which--naive, reductionist "Marxists" to the contrary--is more than just
"Why wasn't I invited?" That never stopped Groucho! Marxists need their
own disciplined vanguard party, since they're rarely welcome at anybody
else's.

9. Guided by the Marxist leader-dogmas of *misbehaviorism* and *hysterical
materialism,* inevitable the masses will embrace, not only G-Marxism, but
also each other.

10. Groucho Marxism, then, is the *tour de farce* of comedy. As Harpo is
reliably reported to have said:
 
"     "

In other words, comedy is riotous or it is nothing! So much to do, so
many to do it to! On your Marx, get set--go!