Wednesday, November 12, 2008

~ Our Friend Kevin ~

Update: Paypal account for Kevin I am accepting donations on Kevin's behalf to be used to pay his utilities and rent. If you care to contribute, please make a check or money order payable to Shelly McFarland, with Kevin's name in the memo You may also send correspondence here that I can forward to him since his location could change at any time Kevin McShea c/o Shelly McFarland 13775A Mono Way, #220 Sonora, CA He is in Chino, CA for an undetermined amount of time You may want to send correspondence to him there - again not sure for how long he will be there. Kevin McShea Unit II-B 5353 G Street Chino, CA 91710 He can be phoned from 9am - 9pm PST (909) 590-9221 You can post any notes you'd like for him here and I will read them to him on the phone when I call him each day.

It was strange to have to decide what items Kevin needed in this situation. That list had to be balanced with what items he is allowed to possess.

For his reading material, I chose the current (Oct 30) issue of Rolling Stone. I flipped through it and it seemed, a. to have a nice variety of topical articles on subjects which Kevin and I have touched on in our online relationship. And b. Because they have changed the shape of the Rolling Stone Magazine and this is the first issue in this new, standard size, (a change which for me has detracted from the magazine - I don't care for their choice)....

Anyway, last night on the phone I asked Kevin what the day was like and he said he had been reading the Rolling Stone. Oddly, when I purchased the magazine and even flipped through it, I didn't see the main article, which is titled The Lost Years & Last Days of David Foster Wallace. This is the article he read:

The actual article is nine pages long, not including photos. It sounded to me like Kevin really related to this man and this article about him.

When I finish my homework today I am going to read the article too...For some weird reason there was a copy of this new issue of RS in the .25 cent magazine box at my work on that was cool and a good coincidence...

At the time it happened, it seemed like Sam Seder was upset when David Foster Wallace killed himself...I had never heard of the man...
Hi, Alice!

Here's a quick note for Kevin:

Hiya Kevin!

I only got bits and pieces of what happened by reading through the Seder Blog, but HANG IN THERE! I didn't donate anything to the criminal enterprise that is known as US politics, so I should have a little extra $$$ in my piggy bank to help out. GET OUTTA THERE FAST! We got yer back!

Thanks, Alice, for putting this together. I'm not a big poster at Seder Blog, but read over there as much as I can, so I kinda feel like part of the on-line Seder Family. We gotta get Kevin back on-line (in more than one sense).

Thanks again! I'll send something out right away.

Peace out.
Recurring paypals are both convenient an a great source of repeat contact. Will Kevin sign up for one of those bank cards?

Aren't there fees for using paypal?

ebay has gone over to only paypal..P is not pleased..he never has used that company...

I spoke with Kev's sister this afternoon. She just received his email last night and found him today...

Kevin said to say thank you to you, Filthy Rich.


KEVIN: I was thinking about you last night...

(please ignore how awkward that could read) ;-)

Later, after waking the kids, fixing tea and breakfast, and through my morning drive you were still on my mind. I intended to ask about how things are once i got a chance to check the blog this morning.

So i started to catch up on recent blogtivity and i am happy to say that i see how, peppered throughout the days, there's a constant and continuous flow of fresh wishes and good thoughts for you. I guess there's not a lot to report at the moment, and we'll all certainly be here once you get back, but it's certainly nice to see the supportive activity. And i wish i could participate more, even help in a more substantial manner.

One of the hardest things is often giving to oneself, or allowing oneself to be a worthy recipient of love and support from one's peers. I wanted to thank you for accepting our best thoughts and feelings, and being open to letting us remind you how important you really are. I know you'd do the same for anyone here, too.

Anyway, that's it from me for now; i look forward to you coming back whenever you feel like it. Like Tom Bodett, we'll leave a light on for you.

Hey Alice, please let Kevin know I'm wishing him the best as always.

Times are tough for me right now financially (compunded by the ASSHAT who hit my car last weekend... hit and run) so I have not been able to even get a card out to him yet. (And, I'm still wondering how I'm going to even pay for my share of the rental car I'm using when that bill comes due, lol)

But, I will "get'er done" when payday arrives. :)

Til then, just let him know we all miss his presence at the blog and hoping he's doing well!

Excellent...thank you both...I can tell that knowing that others care about him is helping...

Thank you...

I Hate It When That Happens
Submitted by Crank Bait on Wed, 10/29/2008 - 12:00am.

Submitted by Alice on Tue, 10/28/2008 - 11:38pm.
Crank..if I'm not mistaken, you are noticeably silent about Kevin...just wondering why...if you wanna say...
I have been playing ketchup on the blog for the past couple of weeks, so I only have a vague second-hand understanding of Kevin's recent happenstances.

That said, I know enough to be heartbroken. Whenever I saw his name above a post, I knew that I was in for a treat.

I didn't read all of the Friday Night Sex In The News stories (am I remembering the title correctly?), but the concept of an open mic devoted to that subject matter is brilliant.

And Kevin posted jokes that I (mostly) haven't already heard a zillion times. In a series. Also brilliant.

Whatever happened...whatever nibbled at his id unbeknownst to me...I sincerely hope that it goes away. Or subsides.

Or only visits now and again and doesn't flophouse on his couch for extended periods of time whilst eating his Cheetos and leaving indelible orange smudges on his doilies.
That made Kevin really happy, Crank...

Thank you from him...

yes, Alice -
Submitted by Kat-in-Manhattan on Thu, 10/30/2008 - 11:38pm.

the only joke i can ever remember, from 20+ years ago:

Two American nuns were on vacation in the south of France. They rented bicycles and rode through a quaint village that was roughly paved with cobblestones.

The first nun said: "Have you ever come this way before?"

The second nun said: "No, it must be the cobblestones!"

tip the veal and try the waiter ba dum bum
my favorite joke
Submitted by mhappenow on Thu, 10/30/2008 - 11:44pm.

Two women meet at a party. One is from the south and the other from the north. The southern woman says in a deep drawl, "So where y'all from? The northern women replies in a very haughty voice, "We're from a place where we DON'T end our sentences in a preposition.

So the southern women says, "Where y'all from, bitch!!"
Shelly .. emailing this to you as well as posting here for you to read to Kevin ..

"Hi Kevin,

I am sorry it has taken me so long to get into contact with you. I read on Sam's blog that apparently that my reaction to your attempting to harm yourself might have been communicated to you in some manner and if it was, I am truly sorry someone took it upon themselves to do that. At this point, I just figure you have more important things to work on and worry about than that crap. So .. again .. I am very sorry if someone burdened you with that information. But .. since it happened I figured I had better address it now.

First off, I will say that I would call .. but frankly I know I would totally lose my composure on the phone with you. You don't need to hear some hysterical idiot sobbing into the phone and frankly I don't need to do that either. My nose gets all stuffed up and it is impossible to understand what I am saying and it is highly embarrassing for everyone involved. So until I know I can call you and maintain my composure and not break down .. I would just prefer not to call. I just worry about what that would do to you.

To that end, I also haven't written because I have very much feared what talking/writing about all this would do to you. I will also totally cop to the fact I worry about what it would do to me. You know where I am psychologically more than any other human being on this planet. I am on a thread and have been for a long time. Losing Nik and then with what happened with you, losing two people I love and adore as much as you two in rapid succession is hard to deal with for me. But .. again .. that is my shit. I need to deal with that .. and I don't want to bring you into that because you need to heal yourself and worry about nothing else.

I guess I am also scared I will say the wrong thing and make things worse for you. I certainly didn't do anything to help you prior to your decision, though you know and I know it was apparent where you were headed. I just had no idea how to stop it and how to make it better. So I did what I could in offering to help you financially .. without probably being as forceful as I should have. I went so far on that last Sunday night as to research where Western Union offices were in Riverside and found a Ralph's where I could direct the money. I should have done it when I first thought of it weeks earlier .. but I didn't. I felt I was imposing on you and as mind fucked as I am right now over Nik .. my ability to suss out what is the correct course of action isn't there. But now .. Monday Morning Quarterbacking .. I can see everything I should have done earlier more clearly in an effort to stop you .. to do what I could to save you. [If that is even possible.. which rationally I know it isn't .. but .. still... doesn't stop me from thinking about it.]

I guess all that stuff is not really the point or important. The only point .. the only thing .. that is important to me right now aside from all else, other peoples hurt feelings included, is you getting better and realizing that you very much are loved and working towards getting to a place where you can continue on with life and realize there is joy and a future for you.

Take care of yourself, Kevin. Heal and take care. You know I love you and adore you ..
Kevin, thanks for your reply (by mail). Sorry I have taken so long to acknowledge it. I've had a life challenge myself - a 4-month headache - which has definitely caused me some days of thinking life isn't worth living. I'm consulting a new health practitioner next week.

Anyway, you must be right about my note's envelope having been opened by the hospital. There was nothing else in it except that quick note. I can see why they'd do that, to make sure nobody says something that would make you feel worse.

About despair: every time I've been so desperate I didn't think I could stand it, there HAS turned out to be an answer I didn't know about. For example, a behavior I would not have acted on without the stimulus of extreme pain. I mean a life-affirming behavior, not the other kind. Of course, it took kind, external guidance for me to be made aware that there were other possibilities.

I wish for you exactly the help you need, and I hope to see you back on the Seder blog.
Willow & mishled...

Thank you for the posts I read them to Kevin...

Hi Kevin.

Be well. Wish I could think of more to say than that.

I'm glad you finally got readers that worked.

Why don't you give Alice a list of other books you want?
Joke for Kev.

Submitted by Sunshine Jim on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 1:01am.

A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn,
Specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly Admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin
already Starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor
prescribed Continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a
sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours .

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor'?

The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'
homeward bound

Submitted by trapper on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 12:55am.

Good thoughts for K; may the clouds part, and rays of sunshine warm and light his path.
The guy on Thom Hartman right now, Kevin might

Submitted by MMRules on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 2:33pm.

want to listen to.. :)

Alan Jablonski

Alice how can I give Kev some dough ?
Through the PayPal thing you have set up ? Is it still good..
I have a PayPal acc.myself..
Please let me know..Thanks.. :)
HI Everyone 8-)

I want to thank everyone for everything you all have done for me.

I was overwhelmed when Alice read and sent me posts from the blog and all the letters, magazines and notes that were mailed to me in the hospital. 8-)

I always knew this blog was a great community even when there was some bickering, ect. going on 8-)

I know that everyone has heard what happened on Oct.21…. but I tried doing it first on the 20th and failed by not taking enough stuff ……I was pretty messed up and thought it would work but I just passed out and woke up the next day. So that is why I doubled everything. I didn't write anyone on the 20th I had my blog post set to post my last post so nobody would know till I thought I would be gone. When I was about to pass out on the 21st it came into my head to write 3 emails to say good bye to my sister, Willow,and Alice.

I figured I would be to far gone by he time they read the emails and that would be that …… but Alice saved my life.

After being in that hospital for 22 days I have reflected a lot on that and have come to the conclusion that a higher power didn't want me on the other side bugging it yet.

I am so thankful for the friends I have on this blog you have all made me feel very lucky to know you all.

And if I have ever pissed any of you off …… I apologize for that 8-)

I don't have much to say right now as I am till kinda screwed up in my thinking and still trying to get my bearings on everything that has happened.

Love you all very Much


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