I know I write for most of your bloggers when I express teh deep appreciation we all have for teh sacrifices and heart aches you go through every day to maintain your blog. We know technology scares you but you keep trying anyway. How do you do it? I figure you must be tired, working five days a week for a whole forty five minutes a day, with a mouse killer, and we can see it is affecting your stutter and with double posts too. I really got concerned when I found out you were dreaming of waking up naked next to Joe Lieberman. Yikes boss, that screams of red warning flags to me. You need a break buddy. Today is your special day, and we all want you to wallow in the heart felt embrace and deep love that we all have for you.
So this year for your birthday, I got you a hoe. Who doesn't want a naked chick - right? Go shave your nut sack and put on some deodorant old man because you are about to get schooled in hot and dirty.
Let me assure you that it wasn't easy finding a cut rate hoe that would loiter around waiting for you at a PO box either. I had to look far and wide for a model desperate enough to even go there with you. It's impossible to expedite a hoe too. Trust me, I tried. Be ready when she gets there though, because when she arrives I was promised it would be very much worth the wait. A 100% satisfaction guarantee is part of the deal. Ain't that a donkey slap!
Now this isn't your average garden variety hoe. We all know about some of the women you've associated with, and they are often women in trouble. Take it easy, here is one that just knows how to hula, and that is all the spice you need buster. You can get real rough, or dress up and get as dirty as you want cowboy.
This hoe is flexible, loves getting dirty and when you are all taken care of, she'll even clean up for you. Beat it up like a bastard child. You can use her again and again until you are raw and exhausted. So just enjoy, play safe, take in a pole dance, and release all that pent up frustration with some hard thrusting back and forth, go ahead and put your back into it. Don't even think of stopping till you are spent with sweat dripping off of you. Make that hoe earn it boy!
Enjoy yourself, you deserve it. But When you are finished, you should wash up, and come back to us refreshed for another year of hard work and drudgery.